What I Wish I’d Known Then…

What I Wish I’d Known Then…

I wish I’d known then just how hard it was going to be. Lord knows how many people were screaming from the mountaintop, “The road is paved in treachery. Beware!” Somehow their words fell on deaf ears.

I wish I’d known then just how powerful my desire for distraction was. Living with ADHD never prepared me for how fleeting my attention would prove to be when the only person holding me accountable to the task at hand was myself.

I wish I’d known then that having a boss cracking the whip, keeping me on task, was a form of mercy.

I wish I’d known then just how wily my characters would prove to be. They defy me at every turn, trying their damndest to sideswipe the narrative. Tangling the plot in tangents where the only solution is the wholesale deletion of entire chapters.

I wish I’d known then just how liberating it is to delete entire chapters. My floorboards would overfloweth with the literary skeletons of failed subplots had I known sooner.

I wish I’d known then how to put a bow on the whole thing. Tying narrative strands together into one seamless tapestry of critically acclaimed fiction.

I wish I’d known then how my gut morphs into a bottomless black hole, a void into which my psyche descends upon receiving a bad review.

I wish I’d known then how to climb out of bottomless black holes.

I wish I’d known then how a single email, from a tireless fan, could make the whole thing worthwhile.

I wish I’d known then how much I’d have to sacrifice. Missed evenings with friends and family. Games and fun abandoned in favor of toiling a few more hours in obscurity.

I wish I’d known then just how hard it was going to be, sitting down at the keyboard and typing until my eyes burned. Spewing pieces of myself onto the ThinkPad.

I wish I’d known then that everyday would be a battle.

I wish I’d known then just how much I had in me to spew.

I wish I’d known then a lot of things I’m glad I know now.

[box] How about you? What do you wish you’d known?[/box]