Don’t Feed The Trolls…But Feel Free To Kick Them In The Gonads (FREE Books over here!)
Aw, how cute. Somebody just carpet bombed all my books on Goodreads with 1 star ratings. An effective strategy for…
For what exactly?
See, what I can’t figure out is, if you thought the first book was 1 star worthy, why read the next one? And if you thought that one was 1 star worthy as well, why go on to the next one? And then the next one. And then th–
You get the idea.
I think it’s safe to assume this guy hasn’t actually read any of my stories. 
Oh well, haters gonna hate…and be the first ones destroyed when my lazy robot army gets off its collective lazy metal butts and starts doing something productive…like taking over the world or making me a pizza.
In the meantime, if you wanna help combat mean-spirited folks (and stay on the my robot army’s good side), consider popping over to Goodreads or Amazon and leaving a review. It can be a 1 star, that don’t bother me none, as long as it’s honest.
Wait, what’s that you’re hollering from the bottom of that well? You haven’t actually read any of my stories?
Hold up, what are you doing down ther–. No, you know what, nevermind. It’s fine. I don’t want to know. You do you, stay down there if it makes you happy. I’m not judging.
Okay, let’s address your question. It’s wrong to throw out 1 (or 5) star shaped shurikens at books you’ve never read. For those of you facing that obstacle, I’m gonna do something a bit crazy here.
For the next week, I’m offering my entire library of books for FREE across all platforms.
I see you rubbing your eyes and blinking more than is probably healthy. Too good to be true, right? Well, calm down, there’s at least one guy over at Goodreads who thinks everything I’ve written is absolute dreck.
And you know what, he may be right. The only way to know for sure is to pop over to your favorite online retailer, whether that’s Kobo, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, or Itunes, and grab yourself a FREE copy of any of my books.
My books aren’t currently available on Amazon for FREE, but you can help with that by going to whichever book you’re interested in, scrolling down to Product Details (just above Author Bio) and click on the button that says “Tell Us About A Lower Price.”
*Quick Note: As of Monday night all my books are available on Smashwords for FREE, but it takes time for the other major retailers to get their act together and follow suit. This is a spur of the moment special deal motivated purely out of spiting a hateful one star troll. Also, I really like you alot and want to give you free stuff. Please take my gifts!
Okay, now that you’ve got your free books, consider going so far as giving them a read. Hindsight, Parallel, and Sins of the Father are all pretty short. Perhaps start there if you’re not ready to commit to a long term relationship with Time Heist.
After it’s all said and done, please take that final step and leave a review somewhere (again, it doesn’t even have to be a good review, just honest). I can’t express with words how much your reviews will help. But I’ll try.
Here it goes: Your reviews will help…a lot.
See, told you I couldn’t do it. And now I’m going to go sulk.
Thanks ladies and gents. Happy Reading!
If you have any difficulties, shoot me an email at Anthony@OneLazyRobot.com. I have digital wizardry skills that can part the cyber-seas, no problem.
Awww, I am sorry about this. I kind of thought trolls were mostly misogynist, but I guess their hate knows no bounds. Hmmm…that sounds pretty presumptive of me, but I am a woman and some people hate me for no reason I can see, so… but you know what really hurts? People in India hate me. And I happen to love Indian culture, so this stings a bit. Sorry about the one bombs. I don’t put much weight into star ratings, but I get it. Espcially sucks because it is not a true critique, just hate bombs, probably a jealous author. Remember Hitler destroyed art because he hated his own mediocrity.
Oh my, if I’d gotten to that last line of yours half a second later, there would’ve been scalding hot coffee shooting out my nose. Thank god it was still hovering at my lips and I hadn’t gone for the sip. Small miracles!
Unfortunately you’re right, all those 1*s are annoying, but they’re small potatoes compared with what ladies, gays, and people of color have to deal with daily (online and off).
So much hate in the world. Cannot compute.
Sorry you ran into a hater, Anthony. He punked you by NOT reading your books, truly, and slapping on one star reviews. Only this isn’t funny. Writers work hard, and my motto is that if you don’t have anything nice at all to say about a book (one star), don’t day anything. If you’re serious about the one star review, you can contact the writer privately.
Unfortunately, I have a firm policy on not engaging with the trolls that prevents me from reaching out and trying to reason with the man on a human level. (Trolls aren’t human, I’d just be wasting my time).
The thing is, I’m 90% sure this rating blast is related to the diversity article I posted on SFF last week. This is likely just a guy who so strongly disagreed with the idea of diversity in SFF that he needed to lash out. I’m as good a target for the hate as any.
Which is fine, I can take it. It’s just annoying. So, to get even, I’m giving away everything for FREE. Muahahah! Take that troll-boy!
Hello! I thank you for your free books (right in my budget range) and I have visited Smashwords and downloaded them. I am not sure when I’ll get to them, but I promise an honest review. May the Internet Trolls burn in the hells of their own truth!
I got a 1 star review on a story I posted, for free, on B&N. The person said, “It’s too short. Don’t bother.” Yes, it was short, which was why it was free. Just a little teaser to get someone interested in my work. The same person (or possibly their crew) ganked me with more 1 star reviews – no comments, just stars. What amused, and pleased me, was that several people, whom I don’t even know, went to my defense saying that these so called reviews weren’t helpful and please stop. I don’t know if B&N ever removed the bad reviews and it doesn’t matter, really. It was, however, stupid and annoying.
Good luck with your writing! ~ Dellani
Oh, Dellani, those are some of my all time favorite reviews. “Too short”. Well, yeah. It’s a short story.
I’m sorry that happened to you, but I’m glad to know I’m not alone!
Thanks for grabbing my books, by the way. I hope they bring you many hours of entertainment when you finally get to them!
Downloaded to much thanks. I will try to read one of the short her one’s this week and leave you an honest review. Some people are such wastes of life and internet space.